“Surely God is good to Israel,
to those who are pure in heart.

But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;
I had nearly lost my foothold.”

(Psalm 73)

That is a bit how I felt one week after the intense and uplifting Original Divine Principle (ODP) seminar in San Marino. We really could build in more to our education to practically prepare and support each other for the next step of putting things into practice. Inevitably the failure to step up purposefully to greater commitment does leave one a fraction spiritually disorientated. By yesterday I was reminding myself of the spiritually bedraggled psalmist who wrote the brilliant psalm 73.

The first line affirms his faith but the reality is he is not feeling it. It is a tough place to be. I stayed on in our LG HQ after our early morning devotion, to prepare for Sunday worship, but then spent 45 minutes of that time watching an episode of the Channel 4 popular drama, Skins, on YouTube TV; got me thinking about the next part of the psalm:

“From their callous hearts comes iniquity;…

…They scoff, and speak with malice;”

Skins: not exactly a source of spiritual inspiration.

Skins: overflowing with narcissistic characters

It’s a strange phenomena when you ‘have’ faith but not the will to fulfil it.

All of this reminds me of the Ukrainian Jew Tevje’s sentiments (Fiddler on the Roof) who argues with himself on the meaning of tradition and holding onto it, and who challenges  God with his humour when warned by the local policeman of an imminent pogrom:

“I know, God, that we are your people, but can’t we, just for this time, not be yours?”

By Sunday afternoon and after having been asked to teach the introduction to the Divine Principle to a guest I was in better shape. Couple of more hiccups back at home when I got upset with the kids and was forced to reflect on my parenting commitments; but then the day ended with a practical task of collecting some of the boys’ forgotten homework from my Dad half way between Wimbledon and ours, on the South side of Putney bridge, we took a night walk along  the river down to Leaders Gardens and walked up to 42 Festing Road, where we spent the first 10 years of my life.

It’s Monday morning, and this is my answer to last week’s stupor:  make the necessary conditions so that I can end this new week like the psalm ends:

“But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.”