Phil Tufnell’s commentary on Radio 4 in the final test at the Oval, froze time and the wonderful moment for me as Broad clattered another Aussie wicket.
“There’s a special moment for a bowler when the rhythm feels good, the body feels right, the conditions are perfect and you bowl for 1 or 2 hours and everything goes right for you. And you remember that golden hour for the rest of your life.”

I’d take that hour and that memory because it means so much more than the thousands of forgotten hours and days- the art of living intensely.

As another summer has almost passed by, a colder wind looms then in my mind as I mentally prepare for another dreaded winter. For me summer has so many possibilities to create, to ponder deeper things under a deep blue fathomless sky. Summer makes it easy to be busy, not too worried about the future. Just being in the moment. But to some extent I was very preoccupied with many difficult emotional pressures and summer did not work its magic. Such is life and another summer will return with a brighter sun.

So right now, I would take in exchange for the whole year just one hour where everything fits and the ball leaves my hand going right where I want it to. Broad, perfecting the bowler’s art found the perfect line for a moment which left some of the best batsmen in the world flailing around.

To make life a work of art. Get it right for just one hour. Meet God.

I never like to force myself to write a blog and so thankfully the topic for this one landed right in my virtual lap via an email which arrived earlier on today. Some of our media guys in the States have just put together a short ‘advertisement’ for Rev. Moon’s biography.

I have been trying to clarify why it annoys me so much.

The skill and reasoning needed to correctly position a religious message so that it does it real justice through the audio/visual medium is very challenging. First of all, who is the target audience and what are we hoping to achieve once we have their attention? As you probably know, film makers even go so far as to try out different versions of the same film in test viewings to obtain feedback which allows them to go away and reshape the content, perhaps an ending to get the ‘desired’ response for final release. It is an art. The aim is always an orchestrated form of emotional manipulation. Always.

So my first thought is ‘Why make this ’seen it all before’ advertisement in the first place?’ I mean, does Rev. Moon really speak like that? Am I getting closer to the heart of the man here? No way. Perhaps if one of Rev. Moons children had narrated….?

Hey, I’m not trying to attack the book itself but let me ‘taste’ it in a quiet place far from bow ties and the clink of celebratory champagne. Just one five minute clip of him praying aloud with pain-filled tears does it far better. Don’t anaesthetize me with slick transfers and trendy graphics. Why not give it to the audience straight in a thought-provoking way? (Oh, and by the way, the overall presentation style has come from the eighties! Zzzzz….)

Show him pushing that worn out ninety-year old body to its absolute limits, the lines on his unassuming still-searching face. Don’t tell me how to respond to his life. Cut out the violins and stop making Rev. Moon some kind of super hero. He’s probably somewhere preparing for yet another sleepless lonely night praying that somebody will take his message as seriously as he took Jesus’ words all those years ago. Or should I give you a different ending?

I’m adding something more to this blog because I believe there is a need for sensitivity and some new thinking. The following (edited) words form part of an email I sent out to a friend yesterday……..(sending out an s.o.s.)

‘Having thought some more- the aim surely is to suprise and attract our western ‘christian/athiest’ culture. Here is Rev. Moon revealing his most private thoughts and his life. No one has known his views on nature, his personal feelings on his well-documented meeting with Jesus. This book is surely trying to reveal the great secret that this REALLY IS what he thinks/feels. No other book has done this for public consumption. Definitely we shouldn’t present him as a huge giant of success- ( he would not claim to be). Absolutely no showy stuff. Get one of Fathers own children/grandchildren to narrate or an older less -hollywood voice. This is a huge opportunity and must be taken very seriously. Even the cover should be changed. My suggestion would be to split it down the middle and have two very clear pictures. One young and one at ninety- both praying. Toby’

Ready to suspend logic, belief and commonsense? Willing to sit back and let all your senses be assaulted and have the pleasure of paying for it all?! Welcome to the world of movies, my friends. Read on for a raving blogfest of my opinions. Because I love you.

My daughter and I decided to watch (with a little skepticism) a film recommended by a friend called ‘August Rush’. She was convinced that her razor-sharp university-refined education would prove it to be a pile of sentimental schmuck. Hence, we were both prepared to pull the plug after five minutes of torture. Perhaps we were also both subliminally ready to relax our critical guards and be taken for an entertaining ride.

Well, we were hooked from the opening scene of a boy in a field conducting wheat in the wind to the closing, his musical finale set in New York’s Central Park. There was also some good acting from the cast especially Robin Williams and Freddie Highmore, some really good music (and guitar playing) plus a fairytale story that held a fine line between absurdity and the believable. Perhaps we were just in the mood for ‘feelgoods’ that night. You might like it. But there wasn’t much violence so….

I worry sometimes about our thirst for ‘entertainment’, especially when someone is trying to sell it to us as a society, a community. I mean, do we dare to stop and look critically at what others hold up as examples of movies that are hailed as ‘works of art‘ and ‘pure genius’?

Let me take a case in point and be controversial from the start. Christopher Nolan’s ‘The Dark Knight’ with Heath Ledger’s insane Joker has received overwhelming high praise. IGN. coms’s review is typical in its raving enthusiasm. They say that of course, the film is ‘a work of art’ but also ‘…the violence is the most intense…ever seen in a PG13 film.” ( Yes, for thirteen year olds. Thanks for caring so much). Apparently the knife-wielding murderer is ‘transcendant’ as well as a character of ‘abject insanity’. The long argument goes that this is a look at society and its need for heroes, that here Nolan has broken new ground by making a comic-book character quite ‘your man in the street’ and unclear in himself about anything anymore. Thus his anti-thesis, the Joker has a ‘reason’ to exist, to balance the forces at work in our confused world. Apparently it’s a ‘substantive and philosophical examination’ of our needs. But seriously, holy groans, Batman!

Lighten up Toby! It’s only a movie.
True but… Isn’t it a manufactured experience designed to have a certain effect on me- like a theme park ride where you pay to strap yourself in and leave your body to the G-forces of spinouts and dives? Why should I go on a ride to feel really awful? To cheer about how lousy I felt at the end?

Yes, it’s only a movie. So I watched it to make an informed opinion. IT’S A REAL SUCKFEST OF A MOVIE!!!!!!! At the end of the story I felt kind of filthy, trashed, tired, very uneasy, un-empowered, emotionally violated and a little hopeless. Probably exactly how Nolan wanted me to feel. Thanks. Now, that’s entertainment!

So I went outside into the garden and looked up to see the refreshing show of the endless dark night, stars and pure creation. After ten minutes I went back indoors feeling my spirit repaired somewhat (you are just way too sensitive!).

Rolling Stone Magazine’s Peter Travers calls Nolan’s work ‘haunting and visionary’ and also ends his review by saying ‘…just try to get it out of your dreams’.

You know what I’m going to say. Why should I use up time and money for you to give me nightmares??!!

Quality! I demand it of the arts. Don’t waste my God-given brief life with anything else but your best. Stop spitting at me, you cultural vultures. Why should any of us accept anything less than the amazing incredible best you movie makers have to share? Popcorn anyone?

Portrait by Alex Katz

Sometimes my life feels like its full of tiny unimportant events.  I admit that at moments like these, the inescapable routine of an average day makes seeing a brighter day round the corner a little difficult. What makes an average day special? Just one small special moment can change it for me. And I then have to remember it. Even though its summer, I feel my family is going through a winter season for many reasons. But seasons change and perhaps summer may return around Christmas? Who knows?  The seasons cannot be avoided but when summer comes again I will sing a new song every day.

Oh yes- my blog……thanks for your patience.

Now regarded as a ‘maverick’, Alex Katz has been painting in his own way for ages. As he didn’t fit into any particular group of artists stylistically, some laughed at his awkward looking pictures.  Katz talks very honestly about his stuff.  I’m tired of pretentious b******t so he’s been a breath of fresh air to me over the years. He takes his ordinary life and makes it into art- people, trees, boring buildings, the seasons, a quiet evening. What I see is a glimpse of a moment passing- a chance to appreciate a little thing thats unappreciated or as Katz said, “….quick things passing”. There is a place for this less-than-ideal snapshot of a face- the quirky smile, the uneven eyes. Hey, I live with my imperfections every day.

Katz’s recent show in New York can be found here. www.pacewildenstein.com/Exhibitions

So,  little things matter. Pay attention to how you look at someone, how you dress and the way you walk too. In a way you are a walking work of art and constantly on display- everyone has front row seats so let the good shine through and fight on!

Did you find a guitar yet? Fingers hurting? Good.

I think I got my first collarless shirt from the Oxfam shop my mum helped in back in 1974. Really old pure white cotton, thick, slightly weird. One of my favourite guitarists wore one- John Mclaughlin. He had really short hair, smiled all the time he played. He was a disciple of Sri Chinmoy, an Indian guru. Frankly I couldnt care less about that at the time. All I knew is that my hair kind of stood up on my head when I listened to his music. Even today he is following his own path. But would you like it?

Be very careful what you listen to on your ipod. Your head sits between those little white earphones. Your mind is guiding you through your day, looking, turning, balancing, speaking, assessing.  Its a delicate job so is the music helping? Angry music makes angry drivers, they say. Of course you may have your ‘personal playlist’ but do you know the guys who play it? Is he/she trustworthy? Is the message in the music helping?  You are never on auto pilot. Dont let the ‘blind’ lead you. They are calling you as the notes massage your head/spirit. Do you really want to go there?

Are you a consumer or a creator? Where is the balance? What? You couldnt hear me…… the ‘music’ too loud?

I’m returning to the original intent of my blog which is to encourage everyone to put some art into their lives. This can involve some kind of study or practise. Because music communicates so much and so quickly, I’m going to talk about that.  I know Simon Cooper mentioned he wanted to learn how to play guitar and I have had numerous enquiries from people wanting some hints on where to begin so read on if you feel the need to get some homebrewed music into your system…..

Firstly, you’ll need a guitar (!). Ask around and see if anyone you know has one hidden away that never got played. Or borrow your friend’s guitar for a few days, just for the feel of it. Most muso’s have more than one (I have four!). No, you can’t borrow one! Buying a guitar is a big topic in itself  and so is finding a resource for lessons.  I am now going to mention one of the best sites out there for advice but mostly for lessons-www.justinguitar.com

Justin has a really cool way of teaching and you can go from beginner to advanced as you feel. Now he advises that you buy an electric guitar over an acoustic. I’m not so sure as the simplicity of the acoustic makes for a more organic link to your heart as it resonates ( I sound like a hippy but I stand by my words). I do love electrics too but more on that in another blog….

For a good new guitar, you could try the Yamaha F310 to start with. Other brands like Fender, Epiphone, Tanglewood and Washburn also do some good ‘entry level’ (starting out) guitars. Buying an older guitar is fraught with dangers although they usually sound better for the money. Wood warps under pressure and the strings pull the guitar body and you can end up with an unplayable lump of junk so beware. Take someone with you who knows what to look for and dont buy without trying it. My previous blog mentions my flickr.com pics and there are some photos there of my thirty year old guitars ( they sound lovely). The crucial point is that it should be easy to press the strings down on to the metal frets ( bars that go across the neck of the instrument).

Josh Groban sings ‘You are loved’ and says dont give up. Once your finger tips start to hurt and you think you are useless at guitar, thats the time to stick with it and do ten to fifteen minutes a day practice. Do not give up. You are on the edge of something big. My daughter Amelia has persevered for four years with piano and now she is taking off! I reckon getting basic playing ability on a guitar is way easier than piano.

With four chords you can begin to write your own songs. Sing the song that comes into your head, record it before you pick up the guitar. Or just chill, sit back in a field with your dreams and your guitar somewhere and see what comes out of you. Do not put it off any longer. They will come….

This is one of my favourite photos from last winter but summer is one of the best times of the year to get out and take some photos.  I now own a reasonable digital SLR and have five lenses which help in different situations. Honestly haven’t used it enough and I often find the old ‘point & shoot’ camera we have is pretty good. Guys, get some of your best, thoughtful, creative shots and post them in a group I just created on flickr.com called ‘Art With Heart’. They can be pictures of anything you love to share with others. If you search for me by name-’Tobias Warren’- then you will also find another group called ‘Seeing, believe’, which is for more ‘ARTISTIC’ stuff. Yes, I know that sounds pretentious but I dont mean it that way.

By joining up to flickr.com which is an incredible resource of inspiration ( I promise!), you get the chance to meet other photographers and share comments and get encouragement too (if you have some good pics!). I think we will also set up a photo/short movie sharing pool on the fireplace eventually but thats just a suggestion at this point.

Today is the 20th  anniversary of the Tiananmen Square ‘massacre’ and also the 20th birthday of Lotus,  our eldest daughter. I cannot forget that night in Milwaukee for the awful pains my wife felt which led to new life and also the terrible pain of the students who died with their hopes.  I think  that night could have been an historic change for China. If the army had sided with the people it would have been the end of a catastrophic era of communist rule. You all know the photo of the “Tank Man’- well, one picture like that can change history. What picture are you going to take to change your world?

What an album gatefold! Opening up the cover to find that beautiful image of water cascading into cloud…. No words written there. And as the music begins, birds singing, keys quietly humming, then the whole band come blasting in so fast, so complex…… and the owner of the French music shop just smiled as we ‘accidentally’ cranked the volume to ten on the most expensive Hi-fi in his store because he knew this was something from another world- why turn down liquid joy? I got back to England in the spring of ‘74 and bought my first real electric guitar- a black Les Paul copy- and disappeared into my bedroom.

I get down…

I found another scruffy notebook last night with yet more half finished song ideas, bits of verses, poem scraps, little sketches. They’ve got to be at least ten years old. They reminded me of the twenty cassettes I also have with song bits and me sounding a lot younger. Annoying really as I cant find the words to a song I wrote last November which was called Two Rivers. It’s too late. You are now fifty.

I get up….

Miss Stout stays in my mind as she sang with all her raw passion at the end of the creative arts workshop. She kept covering her mouth as if to say ‘where did that come from?’- Darling, that was really you plus new-found confidence to put it out there. Did anyone else get that performance? It was from another world. I think everyone got a taste of their ‘other world’ too. That ‘slow motion’ thing from the drama team- those guys were great. I think that and the dance teams ‘Alice’ should be properly filmed against a white background. Just too good to be simply forgotten.

I get down…

Can you two please stop fighting?!  If you throw that, there will be no computer for a week (God, give me wisdom). Can you play with me? Yes William,  just a minute… Daddy, how long is a minute? Sliding down the stairs on a mattress is fun but can your sister do it with you now? (God, give me faith) Look, you’ve been unwell for six months. I have to do something. No, I don’t know if it’s going to help (God, give me love).  ‘River Flows in You’ is being beautifully played on the piano in the living room. Time has, for a brief while a beginning, a middle and a kind of end….I get up.

It’s kind of interesting that unhappiness and grief can lead many artists to create some of their best work.  The painter Mark Rothko’s life was a constant battle with deep depression. He never really said much in public and I guess that adds to the aura around his work. The massive pictures he created are like doorways to heaven (or hell if you don’t like them!) but they might be considered as walls to protect his soul.

Rothko’s Jewish heritage and the painful experience of his friends and relatives during World War Two led him to find solace in his art. Check out some of  his darker stuff at the Tate Modern or you could google ‘Rothko Chapel’.

Facing difficulties and unhappiness in my life, I either keep quietly to myself and work on things  or look for a close friend to talk to- usually my wife.  God speaks to me through people most of the time. Either way can contribute to my health. Long ago I thought it was possible to find complete peace of mind. At least I aimed for that.  I think  for now, it is only possible in the mind of a child.

Of course I need some peace of mind to be a peacemaker but lets not kid ourselves- it can be a battle so grab some peace whenever you can get it! But there is also a tension in my mind and body  that defends the things I hold to be important and cherish. To live well (and all that ‘well’ implies) in this God-given age is to never really completely relax.

So princes, keep your view….

We’re all artists, one way or another. Disagree? It’s just that we share a collective dysfunctional memory. We are seriously limiting ourselves and our natural abilities.

A possible path to recovery-
There is a ‘valve’ located where an old dream or idea has been forgotten, bottled up or ignored. A blockage occurred there when the idea/dream etc. was perhaps considered insignificant, unimportant or worse- childish. Try returning to that spot and in some small way act on that notion. The artist in you wants to play because life was never meant to be as serious or sad as it might seem. For example- make it, tell someone about it, or throw it to the winds knowing you have a better idea now and see it as a prototype. Maybe you’ve changed and it needs updating or simplifying.

By expressing, something can move/change and there is a space for new growth and expression. Its like refreshing the RAM but better because the more you do it, more then flows and capacity increases. Artists have to develop the ability to filter, process more quickly and more astutely.

I ‘m making this sound more complex than it really is.  A few FAQ’s-

How can I locate the ‘valve’?  That may involve trawling old memories, feelings, places. Removing yourself to a quiet place to reflect and meditate can help.  Motorway driving helps me loosen up and remember.

Am I too old to start now? No. You will actually feel younger after a while.

Will this make me become too inward-looking? No.  Expression involves communication with others on many different levels.  A chef’s analogy- ‘Cook alone but share when its time to eat’.

That is one possible path to recovery or discovery.

Maybe I should add a disclaimer here- I cannot accept any responsibility for the effect this advice may have on your state of mind. Unblocking the ‘valve’ could reveal connections you did not intend to find which may lead to some form of emotional/intellectual upheaval!

Quote:
‘All good promises, even those made to oneself must be kept.’ (Anon)

Oh and by the way this very abstract blog makes me look way too intellectual and have all the answers but I dont so… keep your eyes wide open! Someone just stole my last haribo.