Family Fireplace

Dec 29 2009

A time of repentance & forgiveness »

by Matthew Huish

Here is an article from BBC news about people in New York shredding documents, letters and photos in a public ceremony to mark “Good Riddance Day” and leave the bad memories of 2009 behind them. It made me think about the Jewish New Year (a series of high holidays including Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur) during which there is a time for public confessions of guilt and petitions for forgiveness. Forgiveness is sought especially for wrongs done against God (which relates to one’s foundation of faith) and wrongs done against other human beings (relating to one’s foundation of substance).

I once received an email from a close Jewish friend around the time of the Jewish New Year in which he apologised for his short-comings during that year and sought forgiveness. If I’m honest, I didn’t think he had anything to apologise for; nevertheless, I was moved by the gesture and it made me think about his heart of renewal at an important time for him and his faith community.

A quick search on wikipedia reveals that there are two Jewish verbs for repentance, שוב shuv (to return) and נחם nicham (to feel sorrow). It’s hard to repent if you don’t actually feel sorrow – a sorrowless apology is shallow and meaningless, so the first step of repentance ought to involve an admission of guilt and feeling of remorse. It is then that one determines to return to the pure state before the sin was committed (be it a sin of commission or a sin of omission).

The Greek word for repentance, μετάνοια (metanoia) literally means “after one’s mind”; if forgiveness is granted, the sin is forgotten in both the minds of the transgressor and the transgressed. After reconciliation, you could say, “it’s behind me”.

I have often felt that our Unificationist community has been lacking in the area of forgiveness and reconciliation. Perhaps because we set an absolute standard, any deviation from that standard is quickly rebuked and people feel the need to be squeaky clean all the time. But making mistakes is all part of the process of growing up, picking yourself up when you fall over and learning from the experience.

Simba learns a valuable lesson from Rafiki

Remember that moment in The Lion King (a film my children recently watch) where Rafiki the baboon hits the grown-up Simba on the head with a stick? Rafiki teaches Simba that although the pain remains, the act is in the past, and he can choose to run from it or to learn from it. When Rafiki swings his stick again, Simba moves to avoid the stick. This lesson inspired Simba to return to his pride and fulfil his regal responsibilities.

Grace and mercy are themes strong within the Christian community, and since our community has developed upon a Christian foundation, surely we should have inherited that spirit. Perhaps because many of our leaders have come from Korea and Japan, where the Christian foundation is either young or absent, the culture created was missing these aspects.

As a Catholic, I went to confession on several occasions. I must confess (excuse the pun) that I never really took confession seriously:

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned; it’s been a couple of months [more like 2 years] since my last confession… I hit my brother… I watch too much television… [quick, think of something else to say!] … erm, I didn’t go to mass last Sunday…”

But for many genuine Christians, the experience of being forgiven can be one of the pivotal moments in their life of faith, even the start of their journey of faith. Upon reflection, my own life of faith is built upon one defining moment of reconciliation with myself and with God. After that moment, I felt liberated to grow, prepared to err but not to rebuke myself for erring. Learning to forgive myself has been the first step in learning how to forgive others, which is a lesson still being learnt.

There are some members of our worldwide Unificationist community who, after a request from Ye Jin Nim, are participating in a 21-day prayer condition of repentance. Our national leader Mr Simon Cooper has suggested that we all do a 90-minute prayer some time before that start of 2010, and I hope it can be a liberating and cleansing experience for all of us. I hope we can discover the humility to repent and the power to forgive. If we are to perfect the realm of liberation and complete freedom in the Kingdom of God on Earth and in Heaven, I think these are traditions we need to strengthen.